


like little ducklings.

by ココダ - coco (arurun)



Series: dad I swear it's not my fault but [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Accidental Children Acquisition, Adorable Monkey D. Luffy, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Children, Cute Kids, Gen, Grand Line (One Piece), accidental adoption, save him, these kids are multiplying via mitosis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24124903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arurun/pseuds/%E3%82%B3%E3%82%B3%E3%83%80%20-%20coco
Summary: "...Luffy, tell me that isn't the princess of Arabasta."Loto is honestly considering just staying on the ship perpetually. In every singlegoddamnplace he stops at, the kids manage to pick up another kid.
Series: dad I swear it's not my fault but [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731370
Comments: 30
Kudos: 520
Collections: oc self insertSI





	1. desert princess.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guyysss! I'm the author I never talk to people I'm so sorry I love yall and uh, so uh, this chapter is about Vivi! This book in the series is for drabbles featuring briefly how the other kids come in. Vivi in this chapter, and shots of other kids in the next chapter! I'm definitely putting our yellow eggplant with anger issues into this ok
> 
> I'm gonna write Loto vs Arlong in another book and then I'll continue the Zoro and Kuina part in another. Or I might just skip ahead and write some parts of the future before I get there. Not sure. There's a lot I wanna write and not enough time to get them done. _adskajdlkajkl assignments who_
> 
> aaaanyways I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this (sorry for this mess of an author's note), enjoy!

“Go far far away, got it!” Garp yells at them as they drift away from the shore, “go into the Grand Line or whatever! So I have the excuse to tell Senny I couldn’t catch ya!”

“I’m NOT going into the fucking Grand Line with a fishing boat and three brats!” Loto yells back, still very fucking angry, thank you.

Almost immediately three synchronous burned whines cry out. “We’re _not_?!”

Loto makes the mistake of looking over. 

Luffy is teary-eyed, clinging to his pants. Sabo looks sorely disappointed, and Ace is sulking. All of them look completely down in mood from before. 

Their new ship is honestly just an overglorified fishing boat with huge sails and a cabin. There’s a bed, a couch, a kitchen, and some space for the kids to run around like mad midgets all day long.

They don’t have enough people (adults) to sail anything bigger, so this is okay, probably.

“Dad dad DAD can we go to the Grand Line please please PLEASE”

He needs a beer. 

-

They ended up going in. 

At least for the next month, they have to lay away from East Blue, where the officials are still in chaos about someone picking a fight with some World Nobles. 

Loto sends an internal apology to his handful of kids from the other islands, and focuses on where he should go from now on.

Okay, he has to go into the Calm Belt. So Loto does the logical thing and sails right into the Calm Belt, and then he gets the kids to engage in a very exciting rowing battle. 

They’re through the belt of horror in about a day, and the kids somehow still have energy to spare.

“Luffy, look at this,” Loto says, putting down a Log Pose before the kid. “If the needle moves, _at all_ , you call me, okay?”

“Okay!” 

He wonders where the log is pointing towards. Wherever that isn’t going to burn them immediately would be nice. Maybe they can go spend a hundred years in Little Garden.

“Dad, the compass is broken!” Sabo’s panicked voice hollers from inside the cabin.

“It wasn’t me!” came Ace’s automatic response.

A second later, Luffy spins and repeats, “it wasn’t me!” because he’s a parrot.

Loto sighs as Sabo comes in, pushing the rapidly spinning compass two centimeters from his face. “Look dad look! It just keeps spinning!” _Are you trying to insert it into my eyeball Sabo yes I can see it._

He told the kids to pack whatever the hell they wanted, so it makes sense that Sabo’s bag was full of his navigation starter pack.

“The Grand Line is different,” Loto starts, “you have to use a Log Pose to get by here, not the usual compasses… y’know what, kids?” 

He settles down beside Luffy, sitting Sabo on one lap and Ace at his side. 

“We have plenty of time. Let’s have a crash course on what you need to know about the Grand Line.”

If these kids were going to sail out here on their own one day, they need at least the basics.

-

_“And there was this BIG sea cat!”_

_“We went BOOM! And Luffy almost got eaten by an eel but then he was okay and--”_

_“The island almost ate us! The island almost ate us!”_

Makino smiled at the Den Den Mushi on the counter, the speaker at the side and wiping down a plate in her hands.

A few customers looked over with curious glances.The poor snail was trying to flip between three voices that kept talking over each other, and all three kids were talking something outrageous.

The bartender, the sweet lady, hasn’t interrupted them once.

_“There was this big big pile of sand--”_

_“--it’s called a desert, Luffy,”_

_“And! And! There was this biiiiig duck!”_

_“And that big bird person too!”_

They just drone on and on and on about their adventures and new friends. They don’t make a lick of sense, but Makino smiles fondly, finding them awfully endearing.

-

“Dad! Dad!”

They’re in the deserts of Arabasta, enjoying the sunshine and some native food.

The three children come running in cheerfully, and Loto has to wonder where they have been for the last… twenty minutes.

...Not the right number of kids.

Luffy is holding the hand of a very cute girl with bright blue hair. Trailing behind Ace and Sabo is a boy wearing a desert hat. 

Luffy is _sparkling_. Nothing ever goes well when this kid sparkles. How the fuck even does he sparkle? 

He gestures at the girl then at the boy. “Dad! This is Vivi! And that’s Toga!” 

“Kohza,” Sabo corrects.

“They’re from the Nasu Nasu Clan--”

“Suna Suna Clan,” Sabo corrects again.

“And--”

Loto raises his hand, prompting him to stop. He’s already having a headache from just trying to process this. Actually, he’s having extreme deja vu right now. Has this happened before? Fucking mitosis?

No no no that isn’t the problem. That isn’t the problem. That vibrant blue hair. That adorable face. They’re in Alubarna right now. 

Most of all, that very suspicious gigantic figure with curled-up hair that is obviously a bodyguard looking at him with a glare in the bushes in the corner. 

And even further back, the king of Arabasta, hiding in an even further wall.

_How the fuck did these kids not know they were being followed so obviously?_

“Luffy,” he says, eyes squeezing in with some sort of indescribable pain, “tell me that isn’t the princess of Arabasta.”

Luffy _beams_. "Yeah! Her name is Vivi!"

Loto wants to punt him across the horizon.


	2. swirly, smokey, singing and strange.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Someone, please stop Luffy."

“His name is Eggplant! Sounds yummy, right?” 

He can’t eat a fucking meal in peace, can he? Loto stares at the little blond kid beside their table, who’s wearing a little chef’s coat. 

Zeff is going to muder him for stealing a worker. 

“My name is  _ Sanji _ ,” the blond swipes off Luffy’s hand, offended. “Stop bothering me. I need to go back in there.”

Luffy latches right onto the boy and the boy makes a girlish shriek in response.

“Play with me, Sanji!” 

“NO! You shitty rubber bastard GET OFF!”

_ Oh damn, he’s not gonna be able to shove this one off either, is he? _

-

“Kids, kids, kids,” Loto puts his hands before himself in a ‘hold on’ motion, “yes, I said go have fun. I said go explore. I did  _ not _ say bring back a person.”

These kids seem to have made it their personal mission to collect at least one new kid at every island they drop by.

It’s like they think it’s a customary quota or something. But no. Contrary to popular belief, Loto is not travelling to adopt new kids.

This time, it’s not even a kid. He’s a young adult, about his twenties or something. They’re spreading their options. Dammit.

Ace has the very troubled-looking man in a death grip. He has to crouch down to reach the ten-year-old’s hands, and it’s obvious he only hasn’t pulled away because he’s scared the kids will cry on him.

Loto takes a closer look. 

The gray-haired kid’s wearing a bomber jacket, oddly matched with goggles and… oh. That’s a marine cap.

Loto blows out a cloud of smoke. He’ll need to teach the kids how to identify marines. 

The marine (lieutenant or something) notices him, balks, and jumps back. He’s holding a baseball bat, and for a second he almost used it in some self-defensive instinct before his herbivore instincts activated and he just went stiff.

Oh good, he knows he’s outmatched.

Loto smiles at the boy, and the boy just pales. He probably needs to throw up.

“Where’s Luffy?” Loto asks, because he’s the only missing one in the group.

Sabo says, “he’s over there talking to a lady with pretty pink hair.”

“That’s great, go call him,” Loto says. “Ace, you too.”

And like a charm, the two children obediently dash off to retrieve their youngest. They leave gray-haired boy here, standing as straight as a kid during the national anthem and looking like he’s about to die.

Loto takes another drag.

“You can go,” Loto says, and it’s amusing how the boy jolts. “Sorry about my kid. Thanks for playing with him.”

The boy gulps. “Uh-- Former, Rear Admiral, sir...” he answers like the words escape him unwillingly. He jumps when Loto looks at him. Loto is contemplating if he’s a baby deer. “...why did you become a pirate?”

_ Why did you turn from the path of justice? _

Loto hums. 

“I upheld my share of the world’s justice,” he says, putting a hand at his side, where his wound was the largest under his shirt. “Now I'm taking a back seat, so I can pass the baton to the younger generation.” He looks at the boy. “You guys.”

This wasn’t a satisfying answer at all, and the boy’s face clearly showed it.

Loto smiles. 

“One day, you’ll find yourself questioning where you stand in the borders of justice,” he says. “That day, you’ll be much stronger, and much less fidgety,” he chuckles when the boy blushes a little. 

Loto ruffles the boy’s hair.

“Where should you stand on the morality scale? Which way should you go? That’s something you’ll have to find out for yourself,” Loto steals the marine’s cap, and presses it onto the boy’s head. “Try and arrest me once you’re older, okay?”

Loto walks away.

The boy swirls around quickly, lifting his hat from his head-- but Loto is already gone, along with the three brats that were talking to Hina at the convenience store.

Hina raises an eyebrow at him.

“What’re you staring at, Smoker? C’mon, we gotta go.”

-

Loto isn’t going to be surprised anymore. His adoption count is breaking records right now and he’s honestly resigned himself to drinking his miserable days away.

They’re adopted him a fucking princess of Arabasta the second he stepped into that desert land. So in conclusion, nothing can surprise him anymore.

“Uhm, are you okay?”

Loto is gona fucking sob.

“You look like you’re gonna hurl.”

Loto wants to jump into the sea and never resurface. But right now he’s beside a very happy-looking sea creature, so he’s probably not allowed to drown.

Holding back the most babyish wail in the world, he buries his face in his hands and pleads to Crocus.

“Please tell me my kids didn’t just adopt a fucking island whale.”

Crocus pats him on the back.

“I have bad news, brother.”

-

“The Baratie is a restaurant, not a bar. Don’t get shitfaced, we’re trying to clean up here.”

“C’monnn Zeeeeefff, my kids just adopted me a marine and a godforsaken whale. What’s next, a prince? A revolutionary?”

“I don’t care, Luckner. Get out or I’ll kick you back over the Red Line!”

“I said call me Lotoooooo!! That stupid name is exactly why I have a shitty pun as an epitheeeeet!! Like what the heck is Bad Luck Roulette? It’s not funny! It barely sounds like Loreto Luckner! I hate Sengoku! I hate Garp!”

“Kids! Come get your dad, he’s drunk!”

“Zeff, give me Sanji.”

“That’s it, I”m dunking you into the sea.”

-

“Dad--”

“What kind of kid is it this time?” Loto groans, not bothering to look up from his papers when Luffy barges in.

Luffy gleefully declares, “it’s a tanuki!”

“...excuse me?” Loto turns around. 

Luffy is holding a teddy-bear sized raccoon dog thing with antlers.

The animal looks mildly annoyed at being carted around like a baby, but it looks like it’s already given up. “I’m a reindeer...” it mutters softly, like a brooding child.

_ Did it just speak? _

“No,” Loto finds himself saying, turning around and holding up a finger, “no. Luffy, no. Put that back where you found it. Now.”

“Dun’ wanna!” Luffy beams.

_ Fuck _ .

-

“Uhm, dad?”

Sabo is getting a lot of hugs today. Not that he’s not a fan, but he’s a little confused. 

Loto is brooding into Sabo’s shoulder.

“You’re definitely my favourite,” Loto mumbles. “You’re the only one that doesn’t make weird friends.”

Sabo is being glared at. Ace and Luffy look really jealous. Sabo might need to sleep with one eye open tonight.


	3. little to the size of the world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loto takes them on a little tour of Little Garden. 
> 
> Nothing much happens-- just some fascination with giants.

“It’s a forest!”

“Forest!!”

The three kids loved forests. Can’t blame them, because they grew up in Mt Corvo of all places. 

“Ace! Sabo! Luffy!” Loto barks.

The three stop, pipes in hand and turning back with slightly apprehended faces. 

Beside Loto, Vivi clambers up to Carue’s back. The spot-billed duck, being just about the size of a bulldog, is perfect as a steed.

“Look after Vivi, okay?” Loto says. “And Carue too, while you’re at it.”

The duck squawks, offended at the aspect of being an afterthought.

Vivi is twinkling with excitement. The three boys chorus in obedience, and then Carue takes off running after them into the woods.

And as expected from a spot-billed duck from Alabasta, Carue can actually keep up with the boys.

Loto cups a hand over his mouth. “Don’t get eaten by dinosaurs!” he hollers after them, and there’s a distant shout of affirmation.

Loto sits by the boat.

It took a lot of collar-grasping and protective threats from the royal guards before Vivi was allowed to come out alone with Loto. Maybe heading straight to Little Garden wasn’t a very smart choice…

Oh, whatever. They won’t die. Probably.

-

Vivi and Carue are absolutely terrified. Sabo and Ace are  _ fucking _ terrified. Meanwhile, Luffy is laughing. 

Story of his life.

Right now, their youngest is literally in the hand of a giant, and said giant is bigger than the tallest building any of them have ever seen, and seeing as that building is the Alabasta palace, that’s probably saying something. Anyways.

Loto, still at the shore, sees the scene from a distance away (really, you can see those giants from anywhere in the island, as big as they are) and he takes an extra long drag of his pipe.

He had made sure to stretch his Observation out as thin as it can go-- because, although Loto's skills are nowhere near the levels of anyone noteworthy, his years on Mount Corvo have really made him dust off his Haki for the kids.

Of course, he chose this island knowing the giants were the least hostile things by a mile, but he didn’t count on them actually noticing the extra visitors in their garden.

How the heck did the giants find the kids? The kids are like mice-- no,  _ mites _ \-- in comparison to their size. How did they catch them? Loto wants advice now.

“Gebyabyabyabya! Look, Brogy! It’s a tiny human.”

“Gabababa! Have humans grown smaller in the last fifty years?”

They’re poking at Luffy, and Luffy thinks this is a tickle war. Ace is still screaming, he’s been screaming for a while now, is he okay? Sabo is pale as a sheet, and Loto thinks he hears Vivi crying.

Loto is going to get gray hairs.

He comes to an uninhabited island and  _ somehow _ trouble still finds them. Can this get any worse?

It’s okay, it’s okay. Dory and Brogy are notorious, but they’re also known to be nice to human kids. They have honour, if anything else.

He sees Dory close his fist, Luffy still inside it, and his heart jumps.

-

Scared shouting, and hasty explanations later, Loto finds himself drinking the Giant’s very good sake. 

“Dad can I--”

“No.”

Ace pouts. Carue and Vivi are enjoying the juice from one of the strange berries in the forest, trying to teach Luffy how to not spill it all over himself.

“It’s a giant! You’re bigger than they describe in books!” Sabo says, eyes sparkling with interest. “Hey, do you eat people? Or crush villages in your sleep?”

Dory and Brogy are very eager to answer Sabo’s questions. His little notebook (that he calls his travel log in line with his dream of writing) is already halfway filled with the actual facts and legends of the world. 

_ Well, _ Loto thinks, enjoying his drinks,  _ at least they’re having fun. _

-

“Hey Dad! Can we go to Elbaf next?” Sabo perks up. His eyes are literally twinkling with excitement at this point, though it’s a little hard to tell from how high up he is. 

Seriously, the giants are so fascinated by human children, they get their hands on one and absolutely refuse to stop holding them. At least they won’t drop them, but still. 

“Yeah! Can we go?” Vivi agrees, though Carue is horrified at the idea. “I want to hear more stories about the warriors!”

“Me too, me too!” 

Incoming headache in five, four-- bah, who’s got time to count. 

“No,” is Loto’s conclusion. They immediately start to whine, to which Loto puts his foot down. “To begin with, I don’t even  _ know _ how to get there. You think they sell Eternal Poses to a sacred kingdom like that?”

“Actually,” Dory picks around his pocket, “I have--”

“You be  _ quiet _ ,” Loto hisses sharply at him. He falters, and Loto continues his rant to the children. “And they’re a warrior kingdom! It’s not a playground for human children! I’m sure they wouldn’t be inviting!”

“I’m sure they would be more than happy to be welcoming if we introduce you--” Brogy’s mouth snaps shut as Loto gives him another warning glare.

“I said,  _ shush, _ ” Loto makes sure they understand it this time, “if you want to go to Elbaf, make your own crew one day and find your way there on your own. Understood?”

They pout. 

“Okay then, I’m going to go on my pirate journey now!” Luffy declares. “Dad, can I have a ship?”

“Hell no you aren’t,” that’s actually Ace, not Loto, “you’ll drown instantly! Don’t you remember you can’t swim?!”

“Then I’ll go!” Sabo raises his hand. 

“Your ability to swim is not the problem!” Loto frantically grabs them before they make off with everything they need. 

“Yeah, you can’t navigate!” Vivi argues, “you’ll get lost on the Grand Line and Papa always said that was a dumb thing to do!”

“I can navigate!” Sabo argues.

“You’re bad at sailing, though,” Ace argues right back. 

“Well I can find a crew that can!” Luffy persists. 

“Plus, Sabo, didn’t you say you wanted to join Uncle Dragon in his army?”

“That’s different! Plus, I wanna go to Elbaf!”

Loto eventually has to sit them all down and explain to them that children-- yes, albeit children that can take down dinosaurs (story omitted) on this island-- do not sail the Grand Line alone no matter how skilled they are. 

“Two conditions to starting your own pirate crew,” Loto decides to set the precedent. “You need to be an adult, and you need to start from East Blue and go through Reverse Mountain with a crew of your own.”

Luffy raises his hand. 

“Am I an adult yet?” he asks, to which Ace smacks him over the head in instinct. 

“Not yet,” Loto answers anyways. 

“No, Luffy, you turn into an adult when you’re seventeen,” Sabo explains. Vivi nods in agreement, “we still have a long way to go.”

Is that supposed to be common knowledge for noble kids? Because Loto was about to say thirteen was the of-age period. At least that’s the time Garp shoved him and Dragon into the Marines for training… anyways that’s out of topic. 

“Yeah, you’re staying on my ship until you’re seventeen, then you can leave and start your own pirate ship,” Loto concludes. 

“Ehhh?! But that’s so far away…” 

“Exactly,” Loto says, rubbing him on the head. “So you’re staying on dad’s ship until then, okay?”

The way they sulk at the thought is rather endearing. 

Loto begins to count the days he has left. 

(It still looks like a lot of numbers, but Garp always said that time flew when you watch the children grow.)


End file.
